Knowing Him Daily

04.May.2026

Survival didn’t always look like what people might have expected.

Sometimes it did look like falling apart, and for about a ten year stretch it looked exactly like that. But other times it looked like functioning really well, showing up, being helpful, and trying to keep the peace. I tried hard to keep the peace, and it seemed like no matter what I did, I still managed to upset my dad. So I kept adjusting, kept making myself smaller and easier and less, because if I could just find the right version of myself, maybe that would be enough.

It never quite was, but I kept trying. That was survival, and for a season it was all I knew.

Again I intentionally reference Colton Dixon’s song “Through All of It” about choices he wouldn’t make again, and I appreciate that he doesn’t sing it with shame, just honesty. There’s a big difference between the two. Shame tells you something was wrong with you, but honesty just tells you the truth about what happened.

He drew me out of deep waters, David wrote in Psalm 18:19, He rescued me because He delighted in me. Not because I had figured myself out yet, not because I had stopped adapting, but because He delighted in me. That’s it.

Proverbs 22:6 says train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. What gets trained into us early goes deep, and those patterns don’t just disappear when we grow up. They become the way we move, the way we relate, the way we lead or hold back from leading. Knowing that isn’t an excuse, it’s understanding, and understanding is where freedom starts.

You were not broken, you were adapting. And there is a God who saw every single moment of it and never once looked away. He was always there. 

If you’ve never invited Jesus into your heart, today is the day. Pray this:

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Thank You for sending Jesus to die on the Cross just for me. I admit that I have sinned, and I repent. I ask You to forgive me. I believe that He died and rose again. Right now, I make Him the Lord of my life. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit. My sins are washed away, my past is forgiven, and my future is bright. Help me to live like the beloved that I already am in Christ. Thank you for saving me.

Make today count and see you tomorrow.